DEFECTIVE STRATEGIES
Everything we do is an attempt to meet a need.
I learned this truth when I was prompted to think about something I regretted doing and asked myself,
"What need was I trying to meet, when I did that?"
I was very surprised by the answer.
In hindsight, it was pretty obvious that the method I had used was never going to work,
but I didn't know any better at the time, and I wasn't even consciously aware of the underlying need.
It then dawned on me that a whole lot of other people in the world are in the same boat as me -
they did not learn healthy ways to get their needs met either.
When people harm others in an attempt to get their needs met, very often they know not what they do.
They do not know a better way to get their need met.
Many of us with unresolved childhood trauma grew up in dysfunctional environments where unhealthy methods were modeled for us,
or we were left to our own devices to invent our own strategies for getting our needs met.
Those methods/strategies don't work well in a functional environment.
They fall short of meeting our needs now.
(Probably fell short back then, too, but they were all we had.)
METHOD INVENTORY
I took an inventory of the methods below that I was using to meet my needs,
and doing so helped me clear out space for new, healthy methods to enter my awareness.
In each case, I asked myself, "What Basic Need(s) does/did this method meet?"
I regard all of these unhealthy methods as effects of unresolved trauma.
Poor Boundaries
Disturbing Personality Traits
Drama
7 Deadly Sins
Addictions