ANCHORS
Simply put, an anchor is a PAST EXPERIENCE that has an emotional charge attached to it.
An anchor can be positive (have a positive emotional charge attached to it)
or negative (have a negative emotional charge attached).
When it comes to trauma, we are dealing with negative anchors, which have survival fears attached to them.
When a distressing event happens, and the trauma (our reaction to it) is not resolved,
the experience becomes an anchor for the fear and other reactions we had at the time,
holding it all in place in our body, nervous system, and subconscious mind.
ALONE
Many experts agree that being ALONE with what happened is why our trauma did not get resolved.
Gabor Mate has said that what creates trauma is not the traumatic event itself, but being ALONE with it.
According to Lori Galperin, what really makes trauma trauma, is the reaction of the environment
to an injurious experience that happened to us [at any age].
If the reaction of people in our environment ameliorates the effects of what happened,
we can move through it and move on.
When their reaction exacerbates the problem or there is complete silence,
then we are left to handle what happened ALONE.
The crucial factor for children is whether or not they have support from a healthy adult to deal with and process
the distressing event.
Receiving adequate support can drastically change a child's reaction.
It can help them make some kind of sense of what happened and feel safe again.
There are a wide variety of reasons why adults are not available to support a child.
There is usually some form of stress or other distraction present, either on an ongoing basis or temporarily.
Acccording to Teal Swan, as children, we could not find resolution [for our trauma]
because we were left to handle what happened ALONE,
and we were not equipped to handle it.
What is needed to heal trauma is to resolve it.
REGRESSION
When triggered, part of us regresses back to the age we were when the anchor (original experience) occurred.
We then see the current situation through the filter of the past.
If we were a real victim in that past experience, we will see ourselves as a powerless victim in the current situation, even if we aren't really.
If we were a child when the past experience happened, we will feel and think in a child-like way about the current situation.
CHILD DEVELOPMENT
It was helpful for me to learn a little about child development, so I can better understand my regressed state when I am triggered.
If the anchor occurred during childhood, I can often observe child-like feelings and thoughts in myself.
That is a big tip-off that I am triggered, and it helps me resist fully buying into my thoughts.
- Powerless
Children are fairly powerless, helpless and dependent.
Triggered adults often collapse into a puddle of powerlessness. - Unmanageable
Adult Problems feel unmanageable to children because they are not equipped to handle them.
A common symptom of being triggered is feeling overwhelmed by our adult problems. - Incapable
Children often need someone else to help them and do things for them. Their size, physical strangth, skills, and knowledge are limited.
Triggered adults often feel incapable or incompetent, even when they are not. - Limited Choices/Options/Resources (or none at all)
Children have limited choices, options and access to resources, including people.
They are dependent on whomever is in their immediate environment, because of their limited ability to travel.
When triggered, I often feel helpless, like I have no choices or very limited options, and that there is only one person, who can meet my need. - Always/Never Thinking (especially when it comes to needs)
When children have an unmet need, they think, This need will never get met! Its always going to be this way!
Triggered adults often create a negative prediction of the future, in which their needs will not get met. - Egocentricity
As very young children, our brains are designed to think that everything that happens around us is happening to us, for us, or because of us (TUFUBU)
In reality, almost nothing anyone else does is ever about us. But when we are triggered, we revert to this egocentric thinking and take things personally. - Need for Approval
Lack of approval, acceptance or love is a real threat to an infant or child's survival because they are so dependent upon others. They need others to love, accept and approve of them.
As adults, of course, we are not as dependent on others for our survival. We can fend for ourseles now, so we don't need everyone around us to love, or even like, us. We don't need their approval and acceptance. - No Words / Unable to Speak
Finding it difficult to speak or find words to describe what happened or what we are feeling could be an indication of preverbal trauma.
IMPRINTS
Something else that is good to know, is that our anchors can also be the emotions, beliefs, and experiences of other people
that we picked up or inherited.
Children are emotional beings, very sensitive to the emotional states of those around them.
In addition, for the first 7 years, children experience the emotions of other people in their environment, as if they are their own.
The part of the brain that is resposnible for separating our own emotions from those of others is not fully developed until around age 7.
This is even occurring in the womb.
The emotional state of the mother and those around her, are felt by the unborn child.
The emotional state of all those present before, during and after our birth can leave a deep imprint on us.
Children's brains are like sponges, soaking up everything in their environment, including beliefs, to maximize learning about the world.
For the first 6 years of life, the brains of children are are operating primarily in the theta wave realm, making them open to suggestion (like someone in a state of hypnosis.)
Stored reactions to traumatic experiences can be passed down to us through our DNA.
Collective or Cultural trauma can affect us, too, whether we directly experienced it or not.