Win-Win
It may seem impossible at times, but it is possible for everyone to get their true needs met.
Here is an approach we can take to find cooperative solutions that meet our needs and the needs of others,
especially when it does not seem like everyone can get their needs met in a situation.
This comes from an NVC-based technique called Method 3 in the book Parent Effetiveness Training by Thomas Gordon.
(I find this method has universal applications, not just limited to parenting.)
I call it the Win-Win Method.
- Whose problem is it?
(Identify who has a problem with the situation. It is the person, who is bothered by it.) - Express your feelings & needs about the situation authentically.
- Actively listen to the feelings & needs of the other person.
(Verbally state your understanding of their needs.) - Brainstorm solutions. (Let other person go first.)
(Think outside the box and write ALL ideas down without any censorship.) - Mutually Agree on a solution to try out.
- Mutually Agree on duties to be carried out by each person.
- Follow Up a week later to evaluate whether the solution is working to the satisfaction of everyone.
(Be willing to make changes or select another idea to try.)