TECHNIQUES I USE

Below are some techniques I use to identify and resolve my childhood trauma.

Remember, we don't have to handle things alone anymore. Getting support is immensely helpful. Even just having someone read a technique out loud to us can make a huge difference. (They don't even need to be familiar with the technique themselves.)

DEEPLY ACKNOWLEDGE

Ben Ralston says that trauma is about survival (safety).
He says that any being, when subjected to a perceived threat, reacts by trying to protect itself against the threat, trying to be safe, trying to survive.
To let go of trauma, Ben says we need to peel back the layers of safety we have been holding onto.
He says we can do this by deeply acknowledging the very first reaction we had.
Then we can complete the trauma instead of staying stuck in the survival instinct, which protected us at the time.

Ben talks about that in this 10-minute video:
How to release or let go of buried feelings and suppressed feelings?

My takeaway from what Ben says in the video is a technique I call "Deeply Acknowledge".

Option 1:
If we can identify our survival reaction, we can insert it into the following two statements:

1. I deeply acknowledge the subconscious association between safety and [blank].

2. It is safe now to [blank].

Example:
1. I deeply acknowledge the subconscious association between safety and [people-pleasing].

2. It is safe now to [stop trying to please others].
(Or it is safe now to [focus on pleasing myself rather than pleasing other people].)

Example:
1. I deeply acknowledge the subconscious association between safety and [not speaking up for myself].

2. It is safe now to [speak up].

Option 2:
I think about what I feel upset about and then ask myself, What is the problem?
Then I insert the problem into the following two statements:

1. I deeply acknowledge the subconscious association between [blank] and lack of safety.

2. It is safe now to [blank].

Example:
The problem is my family does not understand me.

1. I deeply acknowledge the subconscious association between [not being understood] and lack of safety.

2. It is safe now to [not be understood or to be misunderstood by others].

These statements update my system, which changes my subconscious program/script.

This technique can stand on its own or be paired with the Breaking Agreements technique below using the same issue (handle).

I prefer to pair it with Breaking Agreements.

If Deeply Acknowledge does not completely neutralize the emotional charge, then I definitely do the Breaking Agreements technique below directly afterward.

BREAKING AGREEMENTS

I insert some variation of my reaction or issue (handle) into the following two statements:

1. I no longer agree that it is bad [to/for/if blank].

2. I no longer agree that I am bad [if/when blank].

Example:
1. I no longer agree that it is bad [if someone is displeased].
(Or I no longer agree that it is bad [for others to be displeased].)
(Or I no longer agree that it is bad [to be displeased].)

2. I no longer agree that I am bad [if someone is displeased with me].
(Or I no longer agree that I am bad [when someone is displeased with me].)

Example:
1. I no longer agree that it is bad [to speak up].

2. I no longer agree that I am bad [if I speak up for myself].

Example:
1. I no longer agree that it is bad [to be misunderstood].

2. I no longer agree that I am bad [if someone misunderstands me or does not understand me].

This technique is inspired by what I read in The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz.

When we were kids, many adults told us a bunch of untrue stuff in order to get us to "be good" - to behave how they thought we should. I think most of these adults were well-meaning. Perhaps some were not. Either way, by complying with what they said and trying to be "good", we essentially agreed with them that our natural, true self was "bad".

Now we can break all those agreements, freeing us to be who we really are, instead of how other people wanted us to be.

This technique can stand on its own or be paired with Deeply Acknowledge.

PROTECTOR

I once heard Thomas Hubl say that trauma freezes time, and that really stuck with me.

This technique evolved out of my understanding of that and of Parts (from Internal Family Systems) and a reframing exercise.

I found that I can liberate the internal parts of me that stepped up to protect me long ago when I was a vulnerable child simply by verbally updating them.

When I discover a story or old belief or old strategy for meeting my needs that no longer serves me, but I can't seem to let go of it, then I know that a part of me is still using that story, belief or strategy to protect me.

I speak directly to this Protector part of me.

"Thank you for your dedicated service all these years.
You have shown tremendous perseverence in trying to keep me safe by ______________________________.
[e.g. driving me do everything in my power to get others to understand me, so they will like me - or at least not hate me]

That helped me survive in the dysfunctional environment I grew up in.

I am an adult now, and my life circumstances are very different now than they were back then.
I no longer need you to do this service anymore.

Thank you so much for all you have done for me!"

VULNERABLE CHILD (FIRST TIME)

Thinking about a current triggering event, I ask myself a series of questions.

What am I feeling?

(At first, I needed to use a feelings list to help me identify my feelings.)

When was the first time I ever felt this way?

I notice what comes up and acknowledge every experience that comes to mind.

I wait for the first time to surface.
Eventually something really old comes up (from my childhood), and I intuitively recognize it was the original, very first time.

(I do not always need to have a direct memory of what happened, to resolve it. One time a story I was told about something that happened when I was two years old, came to mind, and I immediately knew that was the unresolved root trauma.)

I give myself empathy.
[e.g. "I was so young, when that happened! Of course I was overwhelmed! That was so difficult, confusing and painful for such a small child to deal with all alone!"]

What unmet needs did I have at that time?

I give myself more empathy.

Why were my needs unmet?

What was my child self's interpretation of what happened?

What was actually going on in the lives of the adults around me at that time?

I re-evaluate what happened, applying my adult understanding to the situation.

I usually discover that I have been living with some erroneous negative beliefs about myself (and perhaps about other people and the world), as a result of my limited child-level interpretation of what happened.

Once my feelings about the root trauma are transformed, my feelings about the current event that triggered me automatically shift, too.

DE-RESONATOR

Once I have identified a past experience (my own or that of another) that I do not want to resonate or identify with anymore, I say a series of statements to clear away any residue (resonance).

Overview:
I state the experience (what happened), and then I say each statement listed below, pausing for as long as I want to in between statements to notice and reflect on whatever comes up.
Sometimes I pause for a few seconds, sometimes for a few minutes. It is a very intuitive process.
I move onto the next statement when I feel complete with the current one.
Sometimes I jot down a few notes about what comes up (sensations, emotions, thoughts, images, memories, insights, etc).

Process:

State what happened.
Everything that led up to that (experience) happening happened.

Everything that happened is over, and all the origins of it are healing now.

I no longer resonate or identify with that (experience) or with anything that led up to it.

All the places in me where that (experience) has been stored are healing now.

I might add a variety of other statements here, if I feel like getting more specific.

For example...
All the places in my physical body - in my DNA, cells, bones, organs, hair - where that (experience) has been stored are healing now.
All the places in my mental body - in my conscious mind & subconscious mind - where that has been stored, are healing now.
All the places in my emotional body - in my chakras & auric fields - where that has been stored, are healing now.
All the places in my causal body where that has been stored are healing now.
All the places in my energy body where that has been stored are healing now.

All the areas of my life that have been affected by that (experience) are healing now.

All of my relationships that have been affected by that (experience) are healing now.

All the effects that (experience) has had on me are healing now.

In the process of doing this, I often have deeper insights into the causal factors of the experience and the effects it had on me.
I often get a sense that the patterns at play go back many generations.

MEDITATION

Sometimes I can uncover and neutralize past trauma while meditating.

Many forms of meditation can accomplish this.

Below are the scripts for two meditations that naturally evolved for me and which I find particularly helpful for uncovering and neutralizing unresolved past trauma.

They gently bring up what needs to be brought into my awareness and stimulate a new understanding.

BodyTalk

This meditation can be done while walking, sitting or lying down.

One day, at work, I spontaneously did this meditation while walking around, and it resulted in neutralizing an anchor.

I didn't even know I was upset about anything, when I started. I was just checking in with my body.

But this can also work if I have a specific trigger to neutralize.

This is a bottom-up approach because it starts out by focusing on a physical sensation in the body.

Silently ask your body, "Hey, Body, how are you feeling?"

Your attention will naturally be drawn to a physical sensation somewhere in your body...

Allow yourself to fully feel the sensation...

You may notice that an emotion has entered into your awareness...

Allow yourself to fully feel it...

Now a memory may be surfacing...

Gently observe it...

That memory may be followed by another...

Follow this stream of consciousness...

Gently observe all the memories that come up...

.... (LONG PAUSE) ....

You may begin to notice that this trip down memory lane is revealing connections between events in the past and recent events in your life...

You might even see a lifelong pattern emerging...

Perhaps a significant issue in your life is being illuminated...

You can clearly see that an old program has been running on the hard drive of your subconscious mind...

You understand where this program came from and that it is no longer relevant... You let it go now...

It is being uninstalled... Making room for a new program...

Your system is being updated...

You feel light... free... joyful....

Sound Meditation

This meditation can be done while sitting or lying down.

It evolved out of various meditation practices I have done over the years.

I find that memories are often triggered while I am meditating by sounds in my environment. This is more pronounced for me if I have my eyes closed.

This meditation is also a bottom-up approach because the catalyst is the physical sense of hearing.

Grounding - Imagine roots growing out of your root chakra at the base of your spine (or out from the bottoms of your feet), going down deep into the center earth, anchoring you to the earth.

Expand Awareness - Expand your awareness in 6 Directions (one at a time).

Expand your awareness from the center of your body out to your right side as far as your awareness can go.
(through the wall, through the town you are in, through the neighboring towns, across the globe, out into space...)

Expand your awareness from the center of your body to your left side as far as your awareness can go.

Expand your awareness from the center of your body out in front of you as far as your awareness can go.

Expand your awareness from the center of your body out behind you as far as your awareness can go.

Expand your awareness from the center of your body down in the direction of your feet as far as your awareness can go.

Expand your awareness from the center of your body up in the direction of your head as far as your awareness can go.

(If you want to, you can visualize a silver thread of light coming out of the top of your head, connecting you to a higher realm.)

Noticing

Lightly notice the Sounds around you.
(e.g. birds chirping, a dog barking, traffic driving by, etc.)

Notice any Thoughts, Memories and Emotions that spontaneously arise.

Lightly follow your stream of consciousness and feel your feelings.

An important issue will often come up and get resolved in this process.

Open your eyes when you feel complete with this experience.